


a new world

by TheTruthAboutLove



Series: all my lives (were by your side) [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Angst, Developing Relationship, F/F, Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28944378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTruthAboutLove/pseuds/TheTruthAboutLove
Summary: Sara knows this is it. She's on the verge of dying already, so at least it won't take long for them to actually manage to kill her. The AVA walks into the recess. It's so small and Sara's barely even hidden, she's pretty sure the clone would have seen her even if a torchlight hadn't stopped on her frame for at least five seconds before dropping away from her. She waits for the gun to be raised, for her to call for help, for the inevitable fall. None of it comes.//Or, a continuation of the meta-humans AU from "all the lives I've ever lived (they were leading me here)". Probably still makes sense as a stand alone, details in the notes at the beginning.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Series: all my lives (were by your side) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107014
Comments: 38
Kudos: 133





	1. fighting for a new world that would rise up like the sun

**Author's Note:**

> Here we are again! A few notes:  
> \- this is continuation of the **Meta-Humans AU, from "all the lives I've ever lived (they were leading me here)"**  
>  \- if you want to jog your memory, you could read/re-read **chapter 11** of that story, this will take place **before (this chapter of this story) and after (chapter 2 of this story) that one**  
>  \- even if you haven't read that, this chapter will still make sense, because it's set before that and everything universe-related is explained in the story; before chapter 2 I'll explain in the notes everything you should know (that happened in "all the lives") in order to understand what happens; still, if you have time to read that please do   
> \- titels for this one shot and for chapter 11 of the original work are from "Turning" from Les Miserables  
> \- Enjoy!

Sara asks herself often, what happened? How did it all go to hell so quickly? But the answer is, nothing happened. The world was well and fine one day, and the next day everything had shifted already and it could never go back to how it was.

Rationally, they know it must have been going on for a while. A military op on a world scale like that one, it couldn't be organized overnight.

But they didn't know. They were living their lives, it was an average day, when suddenly A.R.G.U.S. was taking over. Hundreds were killed, thousands arrested, meta-humans all over the world went into hiding immediately.

The world looked emptier, like a void had been left that couldn't quite be filled on such short notice, and it was the only thing to stand out at first. Then, word got out. Protests started, rallies, allies making their voice heard, but soon enough they found a way to police them into silence.

The AVAs.

Sara remembered watching on television the first protest they unleashed them on. They looked like regular operatives at first. Then, the fight broke out. Some helmets were lost. And it became apparent there was nothing regular about the AVAs. They were clones, pacifiers, perfect operatives.

And, just like they never even started, the protests were over. And the resistance began.

Sara was in Star City when it happened, having dinner with her father when the news came on tv that the busts had started. Few people knew about Sara and Laurel being meta's, but it would still be too dangerous to stay, so Sara left that very night, only saying goodbye to her father.

Laurel was on a Team Arrow mission and Sara could only hope she'd be okay. She disappeared overnight, leaving no trace behind, like she was back in the League, like she had never even come back at all.

  
  


Once she's on her own again, things are tough.

The first few States fall in three days, it's chaos over there. Most of the other ones are at civil war, some fall shortly after. It's not long before A.R.G.U.S. has stopped working for the government, and has instead become the government itself.

It's surreal: half of the cities are apocalyptic wastelands and the other half are flourishing like nothing ever happened at all.

Sara doesn't know which ones are best for hiding, so she tries a little bit of both.

She won't go back to the League and she can't go back to Star City. There's not a place for her in the world anymore.

She stays on the run, changes cities like clothes. It even works, for a few months. A.R.G.U.S. finds her hiding in an apartment five miles south of D.C.; the family owning it is vacationing somewhere warm and Sara has made herself at home, when they bust in.

She escapes, barely, but even with her powers she knows it won't be long before they find her. She can't die, but that doesn't mean she can stay healthy effortlessly. She makes it to Nevada before they're onto her again and she's forced to detour to Arizona and hide in the first deserted land she finds: there's a cave that's barely big enough to shield her from water and pass-byers, but it's close to a river and quite hidden from view, so she'll have to make due for a couple of nights, until A.R.G.U.S. loses track of her.

The thing is, the land is deserted and close to a river, so instead of passing through, A.R.G.U.S. sets up camp there.

Sara hides for days, until she's lost track of time. She's dehydrated, starving, but she can't die. She's on the line between alive and dead but can't cross over either way. It's the most terrifying thing to ever happen to her, and if she had any strength left, she'd walk out and surrender right then. She could quite easily: the entrance to her small cave is hidden enough from view but so close to camp that two Generals often stop just outside to chatter on. Sara could easily call out to them and let them kill her.

It must have been at least a week of hiding, and she's sure she's starting to go crazy, because the only human contact she's had, has been eavesdropping conversations two of the Generals have been having about how creeped out by the AVAs they are, about them being the only two humans in the base, about a hundred creepy things that have made Sara actually feel sorry for the clones.

Their own teammates, they treat them like things. Like weapons. Like toys.

It's a shattering realization she has, that they're using the clones like they want to use the meta's: as weapons at their disposal. Sara knows they don't really have a choice but obey, and it feels unfair and wrong to her.

The generals are still talking a few feet from her when a noise makes her move and a rocks falls from the cave wall to the ground. It's the first sound she's caused in days, but it echoes in the small cave and it catches someone's attention immediately.

“Hey, you,” she hears one of the men say, “check that out, will ya?”

Sara knows this is it. She's on the verge of dying already, so at least it won't take long for them to actually manage to kill her.

The AVA walks into the recess. It's so small and Sara's barely even hidden, she's pretty sure the clone would have seen her even if a torchlight hadn't stopped on her frame for at least five seconds before dropping away from her.

She waits for the gun to be raised, for her to call for help, for the inevitable fall. None of it comes.

“Must've been some animal, there's nothing in there,” she tells the generals when she walks off without looking back.

Sara frowns. _Why?_

“That one creeps me out,” one of the men says. “Something off about her.”

“Yeah. Almost feels like she's about to say no to an order you give her, sometimes. Shouldn't be programmed to.”

“Mh. Well, if she does, we can execute her as the defective unit she is and be done with it.”

Sara feels dread and disgust, she wants to scream and fight them, but as things are she can't even move, so there's not much she can do at all.

  
  


It's been night for a while, when there's movement just outside her hiding spot. Someone comes in and for a moment Sara thinks, okay, once is a miracle but twice is just impossible, so she can't go unseen again.

There's no torchlight, the AVA comes closer and kneels beside her. She doesn't say anything, just helps Sara into a sitting position with her back to a wall and then brings something to her lips and waits until Sara's downed the whole bottle of water. The next bottle isn't water. Sara isn't sure of what it is, but after she's drank it she starts to feel better almost immediately. Stronger. Healthier.

The clone pushes another water bottle in her hand, then stands up.

She doesn't wait for a thank you, doesn't say anything at all, just looks Sara over for a moment and then she's gone.

  
  


Sara tries to find an explanation, a reason why an AVA should help someone obviously trying to hide from them. She can't think of anything at all and the best she can come up with is, maybe the AVA malfunctioned. She knows they're programmed to not hurt humans, maybe she couldn't help but protect Sara since she's currently not exhibiting her powers.

She thinks back to the words those men said, about this AVA being defective. It had seemed cruel, then. But now, she thinks maybe in their eyes she might be.

The following night, same time as the previous one, the AVA comes into the cave and walks to her, only guided by the moonlight. Her hair are down this time, and she looks different than all the other AVAs somehow. She leaves Sara water again and another bottle with that green juice that's a little repulsive to swallow but has made her feel more like herself.

Sara knows better than to be picky, so she drinks both and then looks up into the blue eyes of the woman who's saving her for no other reason than she can.

“Thank you.”

The AVA seems taken aback by the acknowledgement.

“You're welcome,” she says, and her voice is softer than Sara would have imagined. She tilts her head, frowning a little. “You don't like that?” she nods to the green juice.

Sara grimaces. “Not really. What is it anyway?”

“It's what they give us daily, it has all the nutrients we need to stay healthy.”

“Oh. Well, it tastes gross. Wait, you've been sneaking me _your_ meals?”

The AVA ducks her head, then brings a loose strand of hair behind her ear and it's the most endearing thing Sara has seen in her life. Is the AVA showing... shyness?

“Only half of them. You needed them more than I did.”

The AVA doesn't say anything else. She turns and walks away and whatever it is they put in that nutrition juice, it sure as hell works perfectly, because she's starting to feel all kinds of alive again.

  
  


The third night, the AVA doesn't come. Or at least, Sara assumes she doesn't, because, for the first time in days, she sleeps through the night without being in excruciating pain.

But, when she wakes, there's a water bottle waiting for her, a bottle of juice and, Sara smiles picking the small box up, what looks like a pack of crackers. It's not the ideal meal, of course, but if she had to guess she'd say it was probably the only thing the AVA could find that wasn't the green-ish thing she's been drinking for three days now.

Sara drinks the juice first, paces the water, uses the crackers to pass time.

When the AVA comes, that night, Sara's fighting sleep to wait up.

“Hey,” she smiles, despite every nerve ending in her body making her feel like she's five feet away from an enemy.

“Hi. You should be sleeping, you need to recover, get your strength back.”

“I didn't want to miss you,” Sara says before she can stop herself.

The AVA frowns. “Why?”

Sara doesn't know. It's just human, she guesses. She feels guilty at the thought that that's probably why the clone doesn't understand.

“You're saving my life. I guess I just wanted to... talk to you. Know why you're doing it.”

The AVA thinks about it for a moment. “No one else would, and I can. So I am.”

It's such a good answer, so compassionate, so human. Sara has no doubt this AVA is different. She's special, somehow.

“Do you know who I am?”

“We know all the meta's, it's in our programming,” she says, sitting on the ground next to Sara when she realizes this is going to be a whole conversation. “You are Sara Lance, hometown Star City, last known location D.C., meta-human, healing powers, known affiliations League of Assassins and Green Arrow’s team. Kill on sight, is our order. They think you're dangerous. It's why I didn't tell the generals you're here. They'd kill you.”

“I'm not with the League anymore. I'm... I'm trying to do some good, to _be_ good.”

“I know. I don't understand why they want to capture the rest of Green Arrow's crew but kill _you_. It's unjust. All of this is... unjust,” she frowns. “Meta-humans aren't bad just because they have powers. It's unfair to treat them all the same.”

“It is. Humans aren't fair when they're scared. Our history speaks volumes.”

“Yes,” the AVA mulls it over. “I suppose it does. But we were supposed to be better, to be just. This programming they forced on us... it's not fair and it's not just.”

“About that,” Sara frowns. “How are you disobeying that?”

“Oh. Well. I guess... I'm defective. They say so. I try to hide it, because I know what will happen to me if they find out I can't be controlled. But I know someday they'll give me an order I won't want to carry through and it'll get me killed. It's still better than becoming one of those... mindless clones,” her voice trembles on the last two words and Sara's sure she's heard some cruel man call them that, but she doesn't mean it.

She's one of them, after all. And she's not mindless. She's not heartless, Sara knows.

“So how about you escape?”

The AVA chuckles. “And go where? There's no place in the world for me.”

“There's no place for me either. Maybe we can find one together?” She offers. “Help each other hide for a while. See how long we can survive being free.”

It's a proposition made in the heat of the moment and the AVA looks fearful and unsettled, like they're speaking of something unthinkable, forbidden. They are, really. They are.

She gets up quickly. “I'm sorry,” she says, and before Sara can ask her what for, she's gone.

  
  


The AVA waits until Sara's asleep the next evening and then leaves some stuff for her. A water bottle, a juice bottle, a ham and mayo sandwich. That must've been hell to find and Sara cherishes every bite, despite it being a bit bland.

The next night, it's crackers again, cheese flavored.

The night after that, the AVA shakes her awake gently. Sara's disoriented for a moment, but then she remembers where she is and why.

“You need to go. They know something's wrong with me. They're going to find you eventually,” she whispers and pushes something into Sara's hand.

It's car keys, she assumes. But she's more focused on how the AVA's hands are soft, gentle, warm and kind, in a way she didn't really expect them to be.

“Come with me,” Sara tries again. When the AVA looks down, Sara gently shifts her chin so their eyes meet again. “Please. You've saved my life. Let me help you find a place where you can be yourself.”

It's weird, how something's alive in the clone's eyes. She's not supposed to feel, not the outrage she's shown about the meta-humans hunting, not the compassion she's been showing to Sara. She's defied her programming, Sara knows this. But now she thinks... this AVA might have genuine feelings and independent beliefs and thoughts. This AVA might be human.

And Sara can't let her get killed for trying to help her.

The AVA frowns, like she can't quite understand why Sara would want to risk everything to save her, why she would want to protect someone... _something_ like her. But, God, Sara does. Want to protect her, that is.

“We need to go right now,” the AVA says. “Can you walk?”

Sara nods. She's been taking steps around the small cave just to get her bearings back. She picks up the small backpack she's been using as a pillow, inside it there are the only few things she could grab when A.R.G.U.S. busted her D.C. hideout, and gets up. The car isn't far, at all. The AVA chose the closest one, and it's not a bad car either, that helps. It's a black SUV that looks too military to get them across boarders, but at least it's something to get them away from that base and to some other vehicle they can steal.

Sara stops for a second when she sees the AVA getting into the driver seat, she suddenly feels like it might be a trap, but then wonders why would she save Sara, nurse her back to health, only to deliver her to her death. So she gets into the passenger's seat and tries not to look too nervous.

“Relax. I just know the roads and where the cameras are.”

Sara lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. “Right. Right.”

They drive silently and the AVA gets off the main road and avoids street cameras and since there's nobody chasing them yet, they know they won't notice they're gone until morning. It'll be too late by then, they'll be miles away already.

“You should sleep,” the clone says.

Sara hums, and before she can protest, she already feels herself slipping away into slumber.

  
  


They've been driving for almost ten hours, when they stumble into a small town that seems to have not been touched by everything going on around them. It's a place as good as any other to stop and eat something.

But before, they need clothes. But before that, they need money.

“Oh, we have money,” the AVA says casually, pulling a duffle bag from the back seat. “I left them for you, I guess we could share?”

“You _stole_ money from A.R.G.U.S.?” Sara sounds as baffled as she feels.

“Well, they don't pay us. So, technically, I just took the money they would owe me if they had paid me for the months I've been working for them. In cash. And, you know, not taxed.”

Sara looks into the duffle bag and... yeah, that's a lot of cash.

“Right. So, clothes. Wait here, you can't leave the SUV in... that,” the black suit is a huge giveaway, it's what every AVA wears, and everyone would recognize a pacifier in one. “I'll bring something for you.”

The AVA grimaces. “Fine. But if I don't like the clothes I get to buy some for myself and change out of what you chose.”

Sara raises an eyebrow at her and smirks. “Deal, Miss Picky. Be right back.”

The clothes she picks fit her well enough, and the AVA shows no qualms about changing in a parking lot with Sara still in the car. Sara is taken aback, but turns quickly so her eyes are firmly fixed on the car parked next to theirs – empty, thank God. Sara's got skinny jeans and t-shirts for them both, then got a leather jacket for herself and a hoodie for the clone.

“Might come in handy if we run into someone who might recognize you.”

She nods, puts it on reluctantly, and Sara knows the hoodie will be the first thing to go if the AVA has a say in it. She lets her hair down from her bun and shakes them around, and Sara has to admit, it does all the difference. She looks like someone else, now. If Sara didn't know, she would never look at her and think “yeah, must be one of those clones”.

“Come on, let's go get something to eat.”

There's a diner across the parking lot they've stopped in and Sara can't wait to get her hands on a burger, but the AVA seems reluctant to even pick up the menu after they sit down. She looks at it for a minute, then looks up at Sara who's been staring at her.

“What?”

“I know this isn't some five star restaurant, but we need to lay low, and you need to eat something. I know it looks a little... old and rusty,” Sara settles on, “but it was close and we're here already.”

The AVA looks offended. “It's not that. It's just-” she sighs, letting the menu down on the table. She looks away and her expression looks antagonizing before flashing of insecurity. “I don't even know what half of those things are,” she scratches the back of her neck, eyes still looking away from Sara. “I'll just have what you're having.”

Sara's heart plummets to the floor. She keeps misjudging this woman, who, as abrasive as she is, has done nothing but trying to help her the whole time they've known each other. She looks down at the menu and, as small as it is, it's still pretty diversified.

“You never had any of these?”

The AVA is still looking away. “They only gave us the nutrition juice. It keeps you healthy. You don't really need to eat anything else to survive.”

And, yes, Sara knew the clones had it rough. They weren't exactly treated as human soldiers, but now she's starting to look at them as prisoners.

“That's why you were confused I didn't seem to like it? You're so used to it, and you've never tasted anything better...”

“Right,” she whispers. “I know this is complicated. It's certainly more than you bargained for. You don't have to wait around for me to get things, I can adjust.”

Sara knows she can. Truthfully, she can't quite imagine what the AVA's been through. She has a conscience, she has thoughts and feelings and she's been treated like a prisoner her whole life, she lacks the simplest of knowledge. They never taught her or programmed her to know anything she didn't strictly need to do her job. There's no other word for it but cruel. And Sara doesn't want life to be cruel to this woman anymore.

“Well, there's a lot of food you need to catch up with, but trust me, you don't want to live a minute longer without knowing what a bacon cheeseburger tastes like.”

“You don't have to-”

“Oh please, I'm doing it for me, I've gone weeks without one and now that I have your money to spend I'm eating my weight in fries.”

The AVA's eyebrows shoot up and she looks amused for a moment. “I've heard of fries. And I've heard of burgers. I guess... I could try one.”

Sara smiles and orders them burgers and fries and pancakes to split as dessert. The look on the AVA's face when she bites into her burger is somewhat priceless and despite her being messy as hell when she tears into it, Sara can't quite manage to look away.

  
  


When they get back into the car, Sara realizes the clothes thing is not dissimilar to the food thing. The AVA hasn't had the chance to ever wear anything that isn't a black tactic suit, and now she's stuck in clothes that Sara has picked up for her. It's not really fair.

“We should pick up some more clothes. As changes. And like, pj's, underwear, that kind of stuff, you know?”

The AVA frowns, and with the most innocent voice Sara has ever heard, she asks, “What's a pj?”

Sara turns to her so quickly her neck hurts for a moment. She sees the AVA barely concealing a smile and a second later they're both laughing.

“Oh, the lady's got humor,” Sara murmurs, shaking her head. “Come on, Miss Comedian, let's get you some clothes you actually like.”

The AVA, to her surprise, keeps the hoodie Sara's gotten her. She chooses darker jeans and white singlets, but Sara is certainly not going to complain about that.

“We need to find somewhere to sleep, I've been awake for almost thirty-six hours and I think we've lost A.R.G.U.S. for now.”

“You sleep?” Sara asks, and the AVA rolls her eyes at her. “Right. You sleep.”

“I'm a clone, not a robot. I'm still made of flesh and bones. So yes, I do sleep.”

“Right. Sorry about that, that was stupid. I saw a motel down the road, looked pretty empty, maybe they got a couple of rooms.”

The AVA nods and starts the car and doesn't say anything else until they separate to get to their rooms and she whispers a “goodnight” back to Sara without really looking at her. Sara isn't sure if she's angry or just hurt, but she feels like a jerk either way. The AVA is right, Sara is treating her like everyone else does, or maybe just slightly better, but she's not treating her fairly.

And it becomes as clear as day when she realizes she's been calling her “the AVA” in her head the whole time.

She knocks on her door at half past seven, after they've been apart for barely an hour. When the door opens, the AVA's hair are wet and she's already in her pajamas. She looks fresh out of a shower, her skin is still a little flushed and Sara has to blink a couple of times before she remembers why she's there.

“I got us dinner,” she lifts the bag in her right hand. “Tacos and sodas. And an apology.”

The AVA lets her in and closes the door behind her. “You don't owe me an apology, nobody who isn't A.R.G.U.S. actually knows how clones work, why would you?”

“Well, because I'm currently on the run with you, so I should learn. That is, if you're willing to teach me.”

She shrugs and sits down on the bed. Sara takes the only chair in the room and lays their dinner between them, on the bed.

“What do you want to know?” she asks, looking down and picking up one of the tacos.

Sara smiles, thinking if the worst comes to be, she can always bribe this girl with food.

“Well, I was thinking your name would be a good start?”

That must be the wrong thing to ask, because the AVA stops chewing for a moment, there's infinite sadness in her eyes and Sara can't fucking believe they didn't even give names to their operatives, to these _women_. It makes her mad, but she tries not to show she understood the AVA's reaction immediately.

Instead, the AVA extends her left hand to her. Sara thinks perhaps she wants Sara to pass something, but then her sleeve slides up and Sara sees it. It makes her, if even possible in the first place, madder.

The tattoo reads: AVA 5H4RP3 in capital letters.

“Five is the model, H is a skill set. Highly-specialized, in my case that specialization is military, so speed, strength, aim... four is the highest skillset they could develop so far. RP3 is the unite and base I was assigned to, it's just a few miles out of D.C., but we were there just long enough to finish our training.”

Sara takes her wrist gently, reading the letters over and over, trying to make sense of it.

“It's not a unique code, I shared it with the rest of my unit. They... died during a mission a few weeks ago. An explosive device went off near the van we were traveling into while I was doing recon. I'm the last one, and this is the only thing I have left of the other eleven clones that were exactly like me.”

“Did they-”

“No. No, none of them were defective the way that I am. They couldn't feel. They didn't have a will to live or die. But I did... I do. I wanted them to live.”

“I'm so, so sorry.”

“Don't be,” she's quick to catch a lonely tear falling across her cheek and Sara's heart breaks for this woman all over again. “One of them, she wasn't like me but she wasn't like the rest of them, either, she used to joke it kinda looked like... well, like it spelled Ava Sharpe. I was the twelfth, but now there's just me, so I guess there's no harm in using the name for myself.”

“Ava Sharpe,” Sara tries it on her lips. “It's very nice to meet you.”

The AVA- Sharpe, smiles. And Sara can't help but smile back.

  
  


Sharpe is... well, not what Sara had imagined. She's curious, stubborn, kinda funny. She carries around a heaviness, a sadness, that Sara tries to quell before she even realizes she is. Sara tries to help and she doesn't know why.

They've been on the road for three days before Sharpe agrees to let her drive for once, and not ten minutes in she's out like a light. She's been staying up late and getting up early to ensure they're always on the move and it's been hard on her, Sara can tell.

They fight over which radio station they get to listen to, they argue about where to sleep or where they're heading next. It's all but easy and, truthfully, Sara wouldn't trade it for anything different in the world. And it's not just because she's not alone anymore, although maybe it is partly because of that. It's because of the smile Sharpe has when Sara's teaching her something ridiculous like dipping fries into smoothies. It's because of how her smile makes Sara smile.

Sara knows that can't be a good sign, whatever it's a sign of.

But Sharpe seems so peaceful after a couple of weeks, she looks serene and at ease. Free. Almost... happy. So Sara decide it can't be that bad of a sign, after all.

  
  


They see it on TV while they’re walking back to their newly acquired car after buying some groceries - water, deodorant, candies... the essentials according to Sara. It's Sharpe's picture. Or, well, it’s an AVA's picture, bun tight and geared up, looking stoic as ever. If Sara's honest, it barely looks like Sharpe to her. They’re looking for her, painting her as dangerous, saying she’s gone rogue. They hurry back to the car and Sharpe pulls her hood up, glancing at Sara with uncertain eyes.

“Maybe we should... split up. It’d be safer for you.”

“Nah. They’re looking for me anyway and they think you’re alone, same goes for me. Sticking together is the best thing to do right now.”

Sharpe doesn’t seem to completely believe her, but she nods anyway.

They cross over to Kansas that afternoon and she seems shaken and anxious, the patrols are doubled and they only make it through because Sara’s the one driving and Ava pretends to be asleep, hood up, turned away from the window.

Nobody thinks they’re headed East, of course. And nobody thinks they might be together.

The next morning the news says every border officer has been given an extensive registry of every meta-human still on the run and they’ll be stopping every car crossing to identify everyone by name and picture.

This is how they get stuck in Kansas.

  
  


Sharpe knocks on her door that night, still a little shaken, and asks if they can talk for a while. Sara lets her in and isn’t really surprised when she does no talking at all. Sara puts on a movie and pats Sharpe's leg until she scoots over, sitting up against the headboard, and then she starts to make fun of every single character on the comedy they’re watching.

Sharpe laughs, just small chuckles at first, but full on belly laughs by the second commercial. She starts making jokes as well and Sara is amazed at how dorky she can be, this woman who’s been through hell.

Sharpe, despite claiming she couldn’t sleep, doesn’t make it to the end of the movie. She lies down with her head on Sara’s legs – just for a second, she says – and she’s out like a light. Sara shakes her head and waves a hand through Sharpe's hair, without really thinking about it. When she turns on her back, Sara looks down at her face, fully into view now, eyes still closed.

She’s peaceful, a deep sleeper. She’s also, for lack of a better word, drop dead gorgeous. Her nails lightly scratch Sharpe's scalp and the woman sighs contentedly and Sara feels this heavy and forbidden feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Sara’s never been stopped by a love being forbidden before, but this is different. This isn’t just for the sake of rebelling, and it isn’t a crush. She cares about Sharpe. A lot. And she knows that, in her own way, Sharpe cares about her.

But... But. Sara has heard the generals talk about how they treated the AVAs, about how they can’t disobey orders, she’s heard some comments and... well, she has refused to dwell on the thought too much but it’s not a reach to imagine some of the things they’ve put them through. It’s disgusting, unnerving, and Sara’s been thinking of a way to free the AVAs ever since.

And Sharpe... Ava, she’s different. She has feelings, at least some of them, and she has a will and a conscience. She’s a person, an amazing, beautiful, precious person. She’s kind. She’s brave. Sharpe's so goddamn brave.

She opens her eyes slowly, turning so Sara’s hand slips from her hair to her cheek. She looks up with clear, open eyes and Sara has to clench her jaw so tight it almost hurts because she knows if she doesn’t the next word out of her mouth will be: “stay”.

She sits up and the world stops. Sara’s heart stops. She’ll realize later it just feels like it did because it all happens between two heartbeats, but to her it feels like minutes.

Sharpe looks at her with a fondness Sara can barely believe is real, and then leans over. Sara stops fucking breathing and closes her eyes and... and Ava kisses her on the cheek.

“Thank you. For helping me be less scared.”

Sara’s a little dazed, but fakes it through and says, “No problem, I like dumb comedies,” and chuckles.

“Can I stay?”

Sara nods, whispers “Of course,” against her better judgment.

Sharpe smiles, turns, lays down next to her and goes right back to sleep. And Sara doesn’t close her eyes all night.

  
  


After that, there’s a shift. It’s subtle, at best, and it’s all in Sara’s mind at worst.

Ava still calls her “Lance”, still makes fun of her, still argues with her about the silliest things. Yet, she books them one room with twin beds in the next motel and calls it “saving”, but Sara’s seen the bag of cash and she knows it’s still almost full. Sara doesn’t say no, of course, because what kind of friend would?

She starts calling her Ava, more often than not, and it doesn't feel weird, or too similar to what the clones are called by everyone, because Ava is simply just Ava in her mind; she's not like anyone Sara's ever met, and she can imagine anyone else in the world ever coming close to being the same, so the name Ava becomes just a name, and the smile she has when Sara uses it makes it all the more worth it.

They hold hands, sometimes, if they have to pass as a couple, and now that they sleep in the same room Ava calms her down from nightmares more often than she’d like. Usually Sara can never go back to sleep after them, but if Ava’s there beside her, in two minutes she’s out again.

And Sara can see it, sometimes, hill concealed as it is, the affection pouring from Ava’s eyes. She never dares to call it love.

  
  


They ditch the car, a shady dude helps them load the better part of their cash into an off shore bank account – in Quentin’s name, Ava chooses, despite it being her cash and not Sara’s. So he’s settled if something happens. Or, they can get it back eventually. After that, they only bring with them a change of clothes and their guns; they head East, by foot.

In the last two weeks, cars have become scarce and gas is a luxury. It’d bring them too much attention.

“I got a plan, we just need to get to the Wastelands, Team Flash is somewhere East and they’ll know how to do it.”

“Do what?”

“Free the AVA’s,” Sara says. “If they’re not programmed against meta’s, they won’t fight us. You said it yourself, you were meant to be just. This isn’t just.”

Ava seems to think about something for a moment, she seems conflicted, then nods. She asks where this base is exactly and then her mind is made up. About what, exactly, Sara doesn’t know. She seems more distant after that, she seems back to how she was at first, a little resigned to the status quo, which Sara doesn’t understand one bit.

One day, they're almost to the hideout, Sara tries to explain she’s doing this so all the AVA’s can be free like Ava is, and Ava looks at her with fondness and tragedy in her eyes.

“They can’t be the way I am, Sara, not even without programming. Don’t you understand? I’m not like them, I have a will and free thinking and... feelings. A lot of feelings.”

Sara can see it in Ava’s eyes, then. Right then. And even though she doesn’t know if she’s ready to name it yet, a name comes to mind anyway.

“Ava-”

She wants to say... so many things. So many. How she knows Ava can feel, how she sees it now more than ever, how she wishes she hadn’t lost all this time wondering if it was fair to make a move on Ava when it was clear as day Ava had her own free will.

But, before she can utter a single word of it, there are bullets flying all around them. And, a moment later, everything goes black.


	2. where's that new world now the fighting's done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes:  
> \- this takes place after chapter 11 of "all the lives I've ever lived", so if you haven't, please make sure to read that before you read this!  
> \- if you already read that but want a reminder or if you don't feel like reading that, here's the essentials you need to know that weren't explained in chapter 1 of this story: the original story is about Sara travelling to alternative universes and "possessing" her alter-ego's bodies; the beginning of this chapter refers to meta-human!Sara being in Legends!Sara's body and speaking to Legens!Ava; i think pretty much everything else is explained in the previous chapter or at the beginning of this one, so it shouldn't be a problem for smooth reading!  
> \- enjoy!

When she comes to it, she's in a chair in a room that looks like the weirdest medical setting she's ever seen in her life, and Ava's holding her hand.

“You're ok,” Sara sighs, sitting up. “Thank God, Ava.”

“Sara, I'm not who you think I am. My Sara – the Sara from this Universe, touched an ancient artifact that sent her to another reality. _Your_ reality. You bounced here, in her body. The Ava from your universe is leading her to the artifact so she can touch it again and you can go back.”

Sara frowns, shakes her head, has Ava explain it in detail three times, before she believes it. This Ava, is still _her_ Ava somehow. She's a clone, too, so she says, but she feels and has a will. And, she's dating her Sara; has been for a while, with no regrets.

“When you'll go back,” Ava explains, “there won't be a war anymore. The meta-humans will have won. When I was there, Ava – the AVA you met – explained what was going on while they were going to the portal to change you back. They hacked into A.R.G.U.S.'s systems and reprogrammed all the AVA clones to fight on the side of the meta's. They'll turn against the few A.R.G.U.S.'s operatives in charge, whom they were meant to protect. They'll be killed by their own bodyguards.”

“No, they can't do that. Ava, the Ava I know, she's not just a clone. You're not just a clone. What will happen if- if they're all reprogrammed?”

“There is a chance that the only AVA with a consciousness, a freedom of sorts, will be erased. That was deemed an acceptable sacrifice.”

“By whom?!”

“By her. She was the one who came up with the idea and explained how to execute it to Felicity and Cisco. She wanted to do this, Sara.”

“Why?”

“You know why.”

Sara does know. Maybe she even has for a while. Maybe she didn't want to believe it to be possible. Because, if Ava felt the same about her, she'd actually have to be brave enough to sort things out. And life had just never been that kind to her.

“I need to talk to her. I need to stop this.”

“You can't, Sara. She won't be the same when you're back there. She's gone.”

“I need her to know. I need her to know I loved her back. She can't go without knowing I loved her back.”

“She knew. She saw it, and even though you didn't get to say it, she knew. She _had_ to know.”

Sara lets Ava lie to her, and tries not to let the panic set in just yet.

  
  


//

  
  


She opens her eyes and, for a moment, she’s dying. But her powers kick in a moment later and she’s all healed up in half a minute. She’s up on her feet immediately, looking around and spotting Ava three feet from her, eyes blank, arms down, not fighting. The noises are getting closer by the second and Sara has no gun and no weapons.

“Sharpe! Sharpe, come on,” Sara grabs her hand, tugs her. “Ava we need to go! Please, please come back to me,” she asks desperately and the ridiculous request brings her no shame.

A second later, Ava turns. Her gun is raised and she's taken out two of the Agents coming at them. Sara sighs in relief: Ava's not gone. Of course she isn't.

They start running away from the tree and into the forest around them, Firestorm catches up with them a moment later, leading them back to the car. They separate and Jax gets into the driver seat, Stein into the passenger's and Sara pushes Ava in the back, she’s still shooting out the last men chasing them, but it doesn’t matter anymore. They made it. They're in the car, they made it.

“Sharpe,” Sara says, needing to use a name that is different, that is just _hers_ , but it feels so impersonal now, almost wrong on her lips. “Ava, look at me. Are you ok?”

Ava does turn to her, eventually. She holsters her gun and looks at her almost blankly.

“You keep calling me that. My identification code is AVA 5H4RP3.”

Sara’s blood goes cold and something inside her breaks, something she can never repair even with her powers.

“You don’t remember me?”

“Of course I do. You are Sara Lance, hometown Star City, last known location D.C., meta-human, healing powers, known affiliations League of Assassins and Green Arrow’s team.”

“But... you protected me.”

“My primary objective is protecting all meta-humans. Secondary objective is eliminating A.R.G.U.S. operatives in sight.”

“It worked!” Jax cheers. “We did it, oh my God guys, we’re winning this!”

“Jax,” Stein whispers, “not now.”

Sara doesn’t feel like a winner. She feels like everything’s lost. She takes Ava’s face in her hands and looks at her with all the love she can convey without saying the words.

“You saved us. _You_ , Ava. And I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to give you your freedom back. I promise.”

Ava doesn’t understand. She frowns and turns to look out of the window the moment Sara lets her go.

  
  


They make it back to Team Flash’s secret base, and everything’s in chaos. The war’s turned so suddenly it doesn’t even seem real and they’re trying to send all the people they freed back home, wherever that might be for them.

Sara and Ava decide to stay and help until they sort out where to go next, or rather, Sara decides and Ava seems to just want to stick around her. Primary objective and all that.

Sara helps Caitlyn with the list they’re making of cities they need to escort people to and Ava just stands around, hoodie up, ready to quell any trouble there might be.

They’ve been sending back people who had to go North with Firestorm, and not far West with Flash and Cisco, but a lot of people are from further away and they need to sort that out. It’s been three days of this and Caitlyn’s been watching her glance at Ava with longing for the majority of it, when she finally decides to say something.

“That other you that was here, she seemed pretty convinced Ava meant something to you.”

“Of course she does. I-” Sara can’t say it. Not because it’s not true, but because the first one to hear it should be Ava. “Wait, you called her Ava. Everyone else here calls her the AVA.”

“I talked to her, before the reboot. She was very brave, and kind in a way that struck me as special. She still is,” Caitlyn nudges her gently and Sara turns.

There’s a kid tugging on Ava’s jeans. She squats down and says something. The kids leans to her and puts a hand over his mouth, like he’s whispering a secret to her. Ava fakes surprise and fishes her breakfast bar out of her hoodie, holding it out for him to take. She gets up and the kid hugs her legs, Ava ruffles his hair and smiles politely to his mom, the woman seems a little reticent at first, but smiles back and thanks her.

Sara asks Caitlyn for a minute of break, and approaches her as soon as the kid’s gone.

“Why did you do that?” There’s no anger in her voice and the absence of it seems to startle Ava a bit.

“He’s always hungry, a breakfast bar isn’t exactly enough for a growing kid, so I give him mine in exchange for him keeping me updated on Killer Frost’s whereabouts.”

“Ava, she’s literally constantly in front of us,” Sara gestures to Caitlyn.

“Well, _he_ doesn’t know that,” Ava explains. “It gives him something to do, makes him less restless, and the other day when she made an appearance I even gave him half my dinner.”

Sara sighs. “So that’s why you asked Caitlyn to come to dinner as Frost, you didn’t want to see what she looked like, it was just for the kid.”

Ava looks away. “Look, I’m not doing any harm to anyone. He needs the food more than I do, but he won't accept it unless he thinks he's earned it.”

Sara’s heard that before, and she can’t help but smile at her like Ava’s just said the best thing she could possibly had.

“Right. Sure. And, you know, I’m not the boss of you so if you _were_ doing something wrong that would be for you to decide. No one’s the boss of you. In fact, you’re free to do whatever you decide to, Ava. Just know I’m here for you if you ever need me.”

Ava thinks about the answer for a second, then nods.

Sara goes back to working through the lists with Caitlyn, with a smile on her lips.

  
  


Two days after that, Cisco’s been staring at Ava for a minute too long, Sara steps in front of him and asks him what’s wrong.

He nods to Ava.

“Her. She won’t let me vibe her again. I don’t trust her, Sara. What if she’s just another clone now?”

“The AVAs saved your asses and won you a war, so maybe try gratefulness?” Sara reprimands harshly.

Cisco shrugs. “Doesn’t mean I want one around. Who knows when it’ll lose it and turn against meta’s again.”

Sara greets her teeth, steps closer. “ _It_?” She sounds menacing even though it’s just a two letter word. “Ava saved your life. She saved all of our lives. She’s a hero.”

“She’s a clone,” he says, like it’s supposed to mean she’s worth less because of it.

Sara hates it. All of it.

“She’s a _miracle_.” Sara turns and Ava’s now close enough to hear them, having approached once she saw Sara getting confrontational. Sara wishes she hadn’t been. She wishes she could shield Ava from the discrimination, from the hatred, from the unjustness of it all. She can’t. But she’s damn well gonna try. “Let’s go, Ava. We don’t belong here anyway.”

Ava frowns, but follows her anyway.

  
  


They decide to use one of the nodes that can bring them close enough to Star City that they can travel the rest of the way by foot and public transportations. Ava isn’t keen on stealing cars anymore, since it’s not strictly necessary, and Sara takes her opinion in stride as always. She’s careful not to order Ava anything but to let her know, always, she has a choice. Ava still chooses her every single time.

“So, as I understand it we were friends,” Ava says as they walk.

“We were,” Sara settles on saying because what else can she say? “ _I wanted to kiss you but I never had the guts to_ ”? “ _I loved you_ ” is no good either, because, first of all, Sara can’t say it to Ava when she’s not... well, _her_ Ava. And secondly, Sara still kinda loves her. Because Ava’s still kind, she’s still brave, she’s still stubborn and confrontational for the sake of arguing. It’s hard not to love her. Falling in love with her was so easy and stopping feels impossible, but Sara conceals it as best as she can.

“It must’ve been hard. Being around me.”

That’s the opposite of true, in Sara's mind. Being around Ava was never short of amazing, getting to witness how she came to be comfortable in her own skin had been a privilege.

“No,” Sara shakes her head like the thought alone it's ridiculous, “being around you was the only good part of this war. These months away from home, they’ve been unbearable. Until I met you. You made everything better, brought me peace during war, made me feel alive again. You saved my life, in more ways than just one. We’ve known each other for, like, a few months, but you’ve become one of the most important people in my life.”

Sara doesn’t care if it sounds lame. It’s the truth. Ava deserves to know.

“I must’ve been pretty special,” Ava smiles, but it’s a little sad in the smallest of ways.

“You still are,” Sara says surely. “You’ll always be, Ava.”

Sara takes her hand, intertwines their fingers, and they keep walking without mentioning it at all.

  
  


When they get to a motel close enough to the node that they can leave in the morning, Sara books a room with twin beds by habit and it’s only when Ava stalls on the threshold that she doubts the decision.

“If this makes you uncomfortable we can sleep in separate rooms.”

“It’s not that. Your presence actually... calms me,” she settles on saying. “But aren’t you afraid I’ll- I don’t know, snap or something, like Mr Ramon said?”

Sara _has_ to laugh at that. “Not in the slightest, come in and let’s put on a rom com, you need to catch up on a ton of stuff still.”

They watch 50 First Dates and Sara wants to cry a little bit. She wishes she made a tape, she wishes she knew about Ava's plan so they could record a video of everything they'd been through together, of every good thing they gave each other, of everything they didn't have the time to say to each other before. Granted, Ava's right next to her, but it's not quite the same; just like in the movie, she's in love with someone who doesn't even remember her. She's in love with someone who... ah. She's in love with Ava.

Sara turns to her and Ava's looking at her, frowning.

“What?” Sara knows she sounds dazed, out of breath like she's just finished a sprint.

“I was asking if I’m supposed to root for the whiny dude,” Ava’s eyebrows are up and she looks amused even as she’s faking she’s unimpressed.

“Wh-” Sara glances at the screen. “Right. Yeah, sure, if you want. I mean, he loves her, like, he really loves her, so much so that he’s okay with her never being able to love him back, you know? He loves how she is with everyone else, how kind she is, and he gets her in a way nobody else does. She’s pretty amazing, actually, she’s so strong and brave and so stubborn-” Sara stops there because she’s not sure she’s talking about the movie anymore. “But anyway, you don’t have to root for him, if you don’t want to. She’s perfectly fine on her own, you know? She was doing ok before him and she’d be ok after him. They just... they’re better together, aren't they?”

Ava looks at her for a long moment without anything else to say, then nods. “They are.”

She turns back to the movie and Sara does, too. And just when she thinks maybe Ava hasn’t noticed how weird she’s been acting, Ava’s hand falls into hers.

  
  


They get into the line to cross the node and Ava has her hoodie up and her hair almost completely hidden under it, they keep a low profile the whole way through and Ava gets anxious as they get closer to the operator. Due to the increase in traffic in the past few days they’ve sent a couple of people to help everyone through. They’re silent and Sara holds her hand as a sign of comfort, trying to be there without crowding her.

They get to the end of the line and the man looks at Ava for a moment longer than he should, but then he sees their hands. He apologizes and lets them through.

Sara is so completely pissed off by it, she can barely hold it together until they’re in the room they’ve got for the night. She starts pacing, and everything starts to pour out.

“Can you believe that dude?! The nerve of him! I could’ve punched him if we didn’t need him to let us through, I swear!”

Ava frowns, then looks hurt. Sara pauses. Had Ava not considered how awful it was until Sara mentioned it?

“I’m sorry,” she says.

And it leaves Sara more than a little baffled. “What?”

“You were holding my hand to comfort me. It’s my fault he thought we were a couple,” she says in the smallest voice Sara has ever heard her use.

Sara’s heart plummets to the ground and she steps up so she can hold Ava’s hands again.

“No, Ava, that’s not it at all. I got mad at him because he looked like he was going to protest you crossing through when he thought you were an AVA but then it was like... being in a relationship validated you. And like he thought a clone couldn’t possibly be in a relationship, so if you were in one it would mean you weren't a clone and you could pass through. I got mad because of how unfair to you he was. I wish I... it might seem stupid. But I wish I could shield you from it. Like with...”

“Mr Ramon? You did. And you holding my hand today is what got us through. You already _are_ , Sara, even though you don’t have to,” Ava smiles and holds her hands a little tighter. “I don’t care what everyone else thinks. You’re my friend, and you’ve always treated me the same you would’ve if I wasn’t a clone.”

Sara’s stomach bottoms out and she looks away.

“ _Almost always_ ,” she thinks. Always. Except for that one night Sara would’ve kissed her if she hadn’t been so concerned about Ava’s free will. If Sara had treated her like she would have anyone else back then, they could’ve had... _something_. At least for a little while. But maybe it would’ve been even worse; she can barely hold it together as it is, if Ava and her had started a relationship before Ava got erased, Sara would be broken to pieces.

So, instead, Sara says: “You _are_ a clone. That’s not a bad thing. I don’t want to treat you like you’re not because I don’t want to erase a part of you. I know life’s been harder on you because of it, and I know some days you’ll want to forget it, but it’s who you are and I l-” she barely stops. Barely. But Ava’s eyes change to surprise, then to happiness, then to fondness, and Sara has no doubt she knows already. “I like you, exactly as you are.”

Ava smiles and kisses her cheek and Sara almost feels like she has Ava back. Almost. And then, she makes the same mistake twice and doesn’t kiss her despite it being the thing she wants more than anything else in the universe.

  
  


It takes them three days to get to Star City and the first thing they do is go to Quentin’s house because, well, first of all he has, albeit unknowingly, the entirety of Ava’s money, sitting on a off-shore account in his name, and secondly, Sara has missed him like hell.

He opens the door and he's already close to tears the moment he sees her.

“Sara.”

“Hey, dad.”

He holds her for a long time and when they separate she can see his eyes shift to the girl behind her. Ava's standing a few feet away, giving them privacy, looking sideways and trying not to intrude.

“Dad, this is Ava. Please be nice,” she whispers warningly. Sara wants him to like her, of course, but she also wants him not to hurt her.

“Sir, I've heard so much about you,” Ava seems to hesitate, then steps ahead and offers her hand. “Your daughter speaks very highly of you.”

Quentin just looks at her for a long moment. “You're the woman who saved my daughter's life, according to Felicity. I almost didn't believe her.”

Ava forces a chuckle and lowers her hand. “Once or twice, I've been told,” she tries to sound nonchalant about it.

He hugs her then, and Ava is frozen for a second before she hugs him back lightly.

“Wait, what do you mean you've been told?”

“Oh,” Ava hesitates, then turns to Sara, but she can't even look at her father, let alone explain. “I was told my plan was to reprogram all the AVAs to they'd forget A.R.G.U.S.'s conditioning and be on the meta's side. I'm an AVA, sir. I lost all my memories and what made me... different.”

“You didn't,” Sara says, takes her hand. “You're still you, Ava. And we're gonna get you your memories back, Felicity's gonna help us. And then after the few months we've had, we're going to take a vacation with all the money you stashed.”

Ava chuckles, then turns to Quentin. “Right. About that. There's something we have to ask of you, sir...”

  
  


After Quentin's, they head to Team Arrow's headquarters. Sara knows they shoot AVAs on sight, so she's careful to always be right in front of Ava, up until the elevator opens and Laurel, Oliver, Felicity, Dig and Thea turn to her and all but jog the distance to hug her.

But the only one who stays focused on Sara for long, is Laurel. The others are looking somewhere behind her, where her father is. Where Ava is.

She’s in front of Ava before anything can happen but Dig has a hand already on his gun and Oliver is looking at where his bow is, gauging how fast he could be shooting arrows if he had to.

“Stop it, all of you,” she orders. “This is Ava. She saved my life, and all of the meta’s, so be nice.”

“Oh, you’re the AVA I’ve talked to,” Felicity smiles. “It’s nice to meet you, finally. I was really curious after what Cisco told me he vibed and I hoped I got to talk to you again-”

“She doesn’t remember you,” Sara forces the words out. “You erased her, remember?” If her tone’s a little bit accusatory, she can’t really help it.

“Oh. Right. We knew that was a possibility, and so did she. It was her plan, after all,” she says, fixing her glasses.

“That’s right,” Quentin clears his throat and looks at Dig pointedly. “It was her plan and it won us a war,” he glances down at the man’s hand and he at least has the decency to cross his hands and not look like he’s one too-quick-move away from shooting at Ava.

“You can reverse it, right? You can hack her again and restore her memories,” Sara points out.

Felicity tries to stall. “We’d need her identification code.”

“I have it,” Sara says curtly, in case Ava doesn’t want to disclose she has it tattooed permanently on her arm.

“Well, we would also need Cisco’s help with the on site access.”

“He’ll help. He and Barry owe me one,” she doesn’t say they’re gonna help out of guilt for the way they treated Ava. She doesn’t say Caitlyn’s gonna make them if they refuse because she’s Ava’s friend. But Ava knows, and it's all that matters.

“Look, Sara, you're asking me to restore her to when she was programmed to obey A.R.G.U.S., to kill meta’s.”

“She came up with the plan that saved us all, while she had those memories!” Sara can’t believe she’s having problems convince one of the people she thought would be on their side.

“Right at the end, sure. But before that-”

“Before that,” Sara scoffs, “she found me dying of dehydration in a cave and nursed me back to health by giving me half her daily food! She stole stuff for me ‘cause I was a bratty idiot who complained about not having solid food while she was saving my life. And when she thought they were onto her, she put car keys in my hand and told me to leave without her, so I’d be safer! Before that, she was a kind, brave human being who was being held prisoner by the very government we fought, by the organization she destroyed, Felicity. You have no idea how they treated the AVAs, so don’t even start.”

“I’m sorry Sara,” Oliver butts in. “It’s just too risky.”

But Sara can see Felicity’s almost convinced, so she decides on her last move, her best move: she turns to Ava.

Ava, who’s been silent and on high alert, hands clasped behind her back but slightly leaning towards Quentin, whose arm is around her shoulders in an attempt to not make her feel so out of place. She clears her throat and steps ahead and unclasps her hands, and all the nervousness she’s been trying to hide is coming out in waves. She looks anything but emotionless.

“Hello, Miss Smoak, it is very nice to meet you, Sara has told me great things about you. If it’s possible, I’d really like to have my memories back, please.”

Sara is almost sure just Ava plainly asking will do the trick. Because they see it the moment she talks with her voice soft and her eyes a little uncertain that she’s not a mindless clone. Ava’s different. Ava’s special.

Felicity’s shoulders sag a little and Sara knows she’s won.

They let her sit in a chair a couple of feet from Felicity’s station but they stay where they are, nobody moves to keep her company. Sara, of course, goes right to her and holds her hand.

“It won’t hurt, will it?” Sara asks Felicity, but really, what would she know, it's not like she's tried to do something like this before.

“If it does, it’ll be barely a minute,” Ava reassures her.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Sara frowns.

“Then it won’t work,” Ava says calmly.

“It’s your memories. Don’t you want them back?”

Ava hesitates. “I _really_ do. But if I can’t have them, I guess we’ll just have to make new ones.”

“Like in 50 First Dates?” Sara asks.

Ava chuckles. “Sure, I can be Drew Barrymore and you can be the guy making me waffles,” she teases.

Sara laughs and swats her arm and when she meets Laurel’s eyes she can see her sister is onto her already. Be as it may, she can’t bring herself to let go of Ava’s hand.

Felicity works silently for a while, only speaking into her comms when she needs to ask Cisco to do something. Then, she pauses, presses one last key, and stops.

Sara turns to Ava and sees her eyes glazed over just like they were when she regained consciousness beside the hollow tree. She stops breathing for a moment, until Ava blinks and her eyes are clear again. She frowns, brings a hand to her forehead to soothe the pain for a moment, then rushes up so fast that Sara has to let go of her hand.

She turns to her with wide eyes.

“We did it!” Sara thinks she’s talking about getting back her memories, but of course Ava’s first thought was instead: “We saved the meta-humans!”

Sara laughs, close to tears as she is, and whispers: “You did.”

Ava hugs her, spins her around, and Sara clings to her with all her might, not willing to let go just yet.

“You remember,” she whispers.

“I do,” Ava says softly. “I do,” she then adds worriedly, letting go of Sara to scan her up and down. “Are you ok? I was so worried, Sara. The other Sara said she couldn’t heal herself, she didn’t have the same powers, but she-”

“ _I want you to tell her... she made me the happiest I've ever been. She gave me peace during war more times than I can count, she made every place we've been to look happier even when we were fighting battles we weren't sure we'd win. I didn't think I would ever get a love like ours, someone who would love me with no fear, or terms, or obligations. Someone I would love so stupidly much.”_

“She threw herself in front of those bullets to save me.”

“ _I want you to tell her- I_ need _you to tell her, it wasn't worth less because she was a clone, if anything it was worth more; she defied her own designing for this love of ours and nothing could ever make me love her more than I do. I don't love her despite the fact that she's a clone, I love her partly because of it. Because of how strong and how special she is.”_

Her eyes dart down and she frowns and when she looks back at Sara something in her eyes has shifted.

“ _Tell her it was worth it. Every day, every fight, everything we've been through. Tell her I wish I could have a thousand more adventures with her, but the ones we had were still the best part of my life. She was the best part of my life.”_

Ava remembers. She remembers what the other Sara has told her, what she's confessed to her in her last moments of clarity, about the Ava she loved from her own reality. Ava remembers. And now, she could never forget it even if she wanted to.

“ _And you... you're like her, you know? You're strong and special and you're worth it, Ava. You gave the other me peace during war.”_

Sara had told her so herself after Ava had lost her memory: that Ava had been the good part of the past few months, that she had brought Sara peace during war.

But that doesn't necessarily mean... that  _can't_ mean...

“Hi,” someone interrupts Ava's daydream. “I'm Felicity. And it's very nice to meet you, Ava. Now, what was that about _another_ Sara?”

They have to explain the story of everything that happened and, of course, they keep interrupting each other and disagreeing on everything and by the end none of them is looking at Ava like she's a clone anymore. They're just looking at her like they know exactly what her place in Sara's life is going to be. Sara's more than fine with that.

  
  


Meeting Team Arrow has been kinda cool, but it's also been kind of emotionally exhausting, so they're strolling down a mostly empty street and neither really has the guts to ask the other what's gonna happen next.

Sara's not sure what Ava's gonna want to do with her newly found freedom. Maybe she'll want to discover the world for herself, on her own, without Sara. And that would be heart shattering, but Sara could live with that. As long as Ava's free, whatever she decides to do with her freedom, even if it doesn't involve Sara, would be fine with her.

And Ava's afraid, now that Sara's back home, now that the war's kinda over, there's not a place for her in Sara's life anymore.

So they walk and stay silent, and there's a moment when Sara turns to her, when she sees the light of the last rays of sun hit Ava's hair just perfectly and her eyes shine exactly the way they had before, that she knows, in her heart, this is a mistake she can't make for a third time.

Ava notices her staring and raises a teasing eyebrow at her, smirking a little, she playfully asks: “What?”

This moment can't just slip through her fingers again.

“I'm in love with you, Ava,” she says all in one breath, before she loses her nerve again. “Like, I'm _really_ in love with you. And I know we've only known each other for a few months, and I know you just got your memories back, but I want you to know that whatever you wanna do next, wherever you're headed from here, if you'll have me, I'll go with you.”

Ava looks so taken aback from a moment, that Sara almost chuckles. Then, she takes Sara's face in her hands, and Sara stops fucking breathing.

“I'm in love with you, too. And we can stay here, if you want to stay, or we can take that vacation you mentioned before. As long as there's a place for me in your life-”

“Are you kidding?” Sara moves closer, hugs Ava's waist. “You're the best part of it. You're the best part of my life.”

Sara kisses her, and from then on life can never be the same. Her sadness, the tragedy she's always carried around, seem to lessen around Ava. As if being so happy with her, the happiness overflows into every other part of her life.

Ava heals her, in a way her powers never could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you feel so inclined, let me know your thoughts about this!

**Author's Note:**

> Part 2 will be set after Sara comes back from her inter-universal detour. In the mean time, please let me know what you think!


End file.
